Return to the Clan of the Cave Bear
by mezzoforte
Summary: An alternate universe to Plains of Passage. Ayla and Jondalar try to find Durc before making the Journey to the Zelandonii.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
            Ayla took one last look at the landscape. She could see Beran Sea in the distance and knew that it was her last chance to see her son or the Clan ever again. Jondalar had said that they could, and she had told him that he would be happier with the Clan. Now, as she stared west, tears filled her eyes and ran down her cheeks. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder.

            "Ayla, why are you crying?"  Jondalar asked.

            "Oh Jondalar, I miss my son!  I know I am dead to him, but he is a part of me!  Even after four years I still feel a wrenching in my heart at the thought of Durc and now we are leaving him behind when I could see him one last time," the woman replied as she buried her face into Jondalar's shoulder.  Tears stung at his eyes and he patted her head.

"Ayla, I know this is hard for you.  Both of us have ones we love, and giving up this chance is a hard decision.  If you would like to change your mind, I will go with you.  We do not have to actually meet with them, but you can at least see your son.  Maybe you can say goodbye to him properly."

            Ayla pulled back from his embrace.  "Do you mean it?" she asked.  He nodded.  She smiled and hugged Jondalar tightly.  "What are we waiting for?  We must pack!  Hurry Jondalar!"

            Jondalar grinned.  She had switched to the Clan Language.  "Ayla, if we are going in that direction, you should teach me some more Clan language," he motioned to her.  As they packed, she chattered excitedly about Durc, Uba, the Clan, and even Broud.  They mounted the horses and set off to the west, away from the Zelandonii and toward the Clan territory.  Wolf padded alongside them and occasionally darted off to chase some animal.  Ayla was instructing Jondalar in some of the Clan's s customs.  "Women make tools from flint too, but those tools can never be used as weapons or to make weapons.  Women can not touch weapons either.  They must always do as a man says and can be beaten for insubordination."

            As the day passed on, Jondalar learned more that he could ever have imagined two years ago about the Clan.  He was still amazed at all the structure in the society.  Two years ago, he would never have believed that the Clan had a language, much less a complex society with a spirit world as well.  The days passed on quickly, and soon they were in an area that was vaguely familiar to Ayla.  She had rarely gone very far from the cave, so the areas she knew well were limited, but she remembered some of the Clan's travels.  They had seen a few Clan men along the way, but they had evaded the couple and their strange animals.  At midday, they reached a clearing that Ayla knew well.  It was there that she learned to use the sling.  There was still a practice post in the ground.  Soon she found the cave where she had stayed during her death curse and during Durc's first days.  Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered cradling the precious baby whom everybody else believed to be deformed.  Only she knew that Durc was simply a mixture.  She looked down and saw that she was cradling an imaginary baby in her arms.  Jondalar put his arms around her and whispered in her ear, "You know this place well?"

            "Yes, Jondalar.  This is where I stayed during my first death curse.  I hid here with Durc so that he could be allowed to live.  This cave was my secret and was Uba's too, for a while.  We are near to where the cave is.  They have probably moved out of it, but I would like to see it."

            They made their way down the slope to the cave, trying to stay hidden just in case.  Jondalar had insisted on leaving Racer and Whinney at her cave.  They heard sounds of people before it came into view.  Someone was still there.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

            Durc sighed as he left the cave to do another errand for Broud.  Broud always insisted that Durc do work that a woman could easily do.  They had recently come back from the Clan Gathering and had brought back Ura with them.  In his eyes, Ura was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.  She was nearly a woman, just as he was on the verge of adulthood.  He still had not been allowed his manhood hunt.  If Broud had his way, he never would.  Durc and Ura had spent as much time together as possible during the Clan gathering and found that they had a lot in common.  Both of them had many ideas that would improve the life of the Clan, but those ideas were often shunned.  They did not know that they had the advantage of both Clan and Others.  They had the ancient Memories as well as the ability to think of new things and try different ways to do something.  They both could pick up on new concepts very easily and while Durc's creativity was with flint and carving (which he kept a secret), Ura's gifts were more oriented to women's tasks.  Durc had been practicing with a spear for a long time and discovered that it would be easier to throw a spear than to thrust it-at least for the way he was built.  Ura had made several new dishes by various accidents that would have simply been thrown out by Clan women.  Both were willing to take an accidental discovery and use it to improve their lives instead of rejecting it.  Many people thought of them as strange for their ideas, so most of their ideas were forgotten or kept in secret.  Each was glad to finally have a friend who would understand.

            Durc thought about Ura as he walked, and then his thoughts turned to his Mama.  Not Uba, but the yellow-haired woman who had left him right after the earthquake.  Brun had told him that his Mama, called Ayla, had been death-cursed twice.  She had lived the first time, but the second time she had been cursed forever.  But Brun had dreamed about her and believed that she had once again survived the death curse.  Durc wondered if he would ever see her again if she had survived.  He doubted it. She was one of the Others.  If she lived, she would want to be with her own kind.  Perhaps they would not see her as an evil spirit.  Although his upbringing went against these thoughts, his unique mind created doubts that no pureblooded Clan person would think of without cause.  He walked until he came to the cave where his Mama had hidden with him after his birth.  Broud had forbidden anybody to speak of Ayla, but Brun had taken Durc away from the cave to tell him about her.  Brun had always cared for Durc, had taught him to hunt with a sling, a bola, and later, a spear.  Brun had kept Ayla's memory alive in spite of Broud.  The whole Clan knew that Broud was a terrible leader, selfish and cruel.  He had no reason to curse Ayla, and had shown terrible weakness soon after.  He had insisted that they stay in the cave, that the earthquake had been to get rid of Ayla, and he made everybody work hard to clean out the rubble.  He showed little mercy to the injured and old, and two people died clearing out the cave.  Because of his impulsive nature reflected by his totem, many hunts were unsuccessful.  His impulsiveness had ruined many hunts and caused the Clan hard winters.  The content mood of the Clan had vanished with the earthquake.  There had been some problems before, but the mood had never been as bleak as it was now.  Durc did the task that Broud had ordered him to do: prepare the practice field for training some of the children on the sling.  Of course, this is something the children could do for themselves.  As the sun set, he slowly made his way back to the cave.  Uba greeted him outside with a worried face.

            "Durc, where have you been?  I have been worried," she motioned.

            He told her  what he had been doing and the two walked inside to Vorn's hearth.  Ura often joined Vorn, Ura, and Durc for the evening meal.  The four of them ate in silence.  After they finished, Ura helped Uba clean, then she went to find Durc again.

            "This girl would like to walk and find herbs for cooking.  May this girl ask for you to accompany her?"  Ura used the universal language of the Clan.  He nodded, and they set off together.

            "Ura, I am not your mate yet, but I would like to request that you start using the everyday language of this Clan soon.  I will help you, and so will Uba.  I know that not very many people have been friendly to you because you are like me, but Uba and I will always be here for you.  I look forward to sharing a hearth with you," Durc motioned.

            Ura stopped, stunned.  A man of the Clan never talked like that!  But Durc was no ordinary boy of the Clan, nor was she an ordinary Clan girl.  Conversation like this was only allowed when the two were alone.  As Ura gathered herbs, they headed toward Ayla's old cave.  Something in the air seemed to smell different, but Durc couldn't tell what it was.  Then he saw some tracks on the ground.  There were the tracks of two horses, a wolf, and two people!  The tracks were fresh, but there were no animals that he could see, nor any strangers.  He decided it would be wise to return to the cave.  Durc had a strange feeling in his chest as he led Ura swiftly back to the cave.  He didn't see the blonde-haired woman staring at him from a bush.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

            "Jondalar, I saw him!  I saw Durc!" Ayla motioned to him.  They had agreed to use the sign language of the Clan to increase his skills and to avoid unnecessary noise.  She was crying but smiling, radiant with the joy only a mother can feel.  Jondalar was captivated by her face, and missed her next sentence.

            "What did you say?" he motioned

            "I want to go see him," she repeated impatiently, "Come with me.  Please.  We can hide in the bushes."

            He nodded and they silently crept toward the cave.  Jondalar had never seen an entire Clan before.  The few glimpses he had before were never at a home cave, and this view of their normal life was surprising.  It was very similar to people he had seen everywhere.  Of course, it was much quieter.  There was no incessant babble of talk, but much gesturing and the occasional spoken word.  He caught glimpses of conversations among them, but it was nothing significant; parents telling their children what to do, mates giving orders and everyday conversation was all he observed.  He glanced at Ayla, who was crying silently.  He could not see the underlying tension that she could.  She knew that this was not a happy Clan.  She had seen Broud's behavior before he was leader, and soon she saw him come out of the cave.  It took only a moment to see that he had not changed at all.  He asked a girl of mixed spirits, who must have been Ura, to get him some water, and when she paused to finish setting up her cooking materials he cuffed her.  She took it without complaint and scurried off to do his bidding.  Ayla was tempted to step out of the bushes and give Broud the shock of his lifetime, but she restrained herself.  She would speak to him, but now was not the time.  She watched for a long time, thinking of how the Clan's dislike of change had gotten them into this situation.  She felt a tug on her shirt, and looked at Jondalar.  He motioned that they should leave.  She nodded.  The sun was starting to set.  They walked back to Ayla's secret cave and set up a sleeping place.  Ayla had so many thoughts rushing through her head that she could not sleep.  She finally stood and walked back to the cave. She peered into the entrance and saw that everybody was asleep.  She walked very quietly back to the area where the men's ceremonies were held.  The bones that were set at the time of her death curse were there, but they were broken from the pattern.  Had they been broken all along?  She stood wondering, when she heard a noise behind her.  She turned and saw Goov.  Though it had only been four years, he had aged considerably.  His face was lined and his hair was very gray.

            "I knew the curse wouldn't keep," he motioned, "The bones were broken right after you left.  I don't know how, but it was the will of the spirits.  Broud was wrong.  He only thought of himself.  I have not told him of this.  He has not changed since you left."

            Ayla was surprised at the words of the Mog-ur.  He could see her?  More importantly, he would see her?  He did not seem surprised.  She gracefully sank into a sitting position at his feet, waiting for him to tap her on the shoulder.  When she felt the tap, she looked up.

            "This woman came to see her son one last time.  This woman is grateful that you have spoken to her.  She has found a mate among the Others and has taught him to speak properly.  He used to feel as most Others do about the Clan, but this woman made him see that the Clan is human also," she motioned.  Goov nodded, and indicated that she should continue.  "Goov, how is my son?" she asked hastily.

            "He is nearing the age of manhood.  He could have his hunt anytime, but if Broud has his way, there will be no manhood hunt for Durc.  Nor does he approve of Ura and the mating.  He will do all in his power to exile them from the Clan.  I have spoken to Brun secretly, and he does not approve of the behavior of the son of his mate," Goov replied.

            "This woman would request to ask you a question," Ayla motioned hesitantly. Goov nodded. "How did you know that this woman would be here?"

            "This man has been given visions and has watched the signs-the bones.  This man knew that you would return once he saw the broken bones just as he knew the death curse was no good," he replied.  "You must leave now.  This man will send Durc to see you away from the cave.  He will be at the cave that was your hiding place.  He knows it well.  Go, now, and rest.  The rest of the Clan will awaken soon."

            Ayla nodded and left.  She practically flew to her cave.  Jondalar was still asleep.  She moved her furs closer to him and curled up with her back against him.  When she awoke, he had already cooked them a morning meal and the sun was well up.  She could barely contain her excitement that she would soon be reunited with her son.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

            When Durc woke up the next day, Goov summoned him. 

            "Durc, do you remember what Brun told you about your mother?  She is here.  The death curse was defeated and you need not fear the sight of her.  She wants to see you.  She is at her old hiding place," Goov told him.  Durc looked outside with a wild hope in his eyes.  He thanked Goov, and then ran to where his mother was supposed to be.  He saw her talking to a man of the Others.  At first all he could do was stare in shock.  He uttered a word he had not used in years, "Mama."  She started, turned, and ran to Durc with water leaking from her eyes.  She embraced him tightly, murmuring his name over and over.  Finally she managed to let go so that she could speak properly.

            "Durc, my baby, my son.  For so long I have missed you.  You have grown up in that time, though.  You cannot imagine how I longed to hold you in my arms every night while I was alone and cursed.  My baby, how I have missed you.  My heart overflows with joy at the sight of you," Ayla gestured.

            Although Durc's eyes did not water, he felt her joy as much.  It showed in his eyes and face.  "Mama.  Brun told me you weren't really dead.  Even before that I would never allow you to be dead in my mind.  Where have you been these years?"

            Ayla told him of her time traveling, living in the valley, and finally ending with how she left the Mamutoi.  Some of the words she used were strange, and he noticed that the quality of her speech was not what he remembered.  But he was glad that she had found people of her own kind.  "Durc, may I introduce you to Jondalar?"  Ayla gestured.  She pointed to the man of the Others.  "Jondalar, this is Durc, my son."

            "I am glad to meet you, Don-dah.  You are the mate of my mother?" Durc motioned.

            "In my heart, she is my mate, Durc.  She had told me much about you," Jondalar replied.  Durc noticed that he spoke without most of the finer nuances of the language, but for a man of the Others he spoke well.  There was an awkward pause.  Ayla asked Jondalar to wait at the cave while she took a walk with her son.  He agreed, and his face reflected the joy that shone from mother and son.  Ayla and Durc walked slowly, hands moving rapidly.

            "The Clan seems unhappy.  Has Broud improved at all in his leadership?"

            "No, Mama.  He does not think of the Clan, only his whims and desires.  That man is sick in his mind, I believe.  As a medicine woman, have you seen such a thing?"

            "No, never, but I understand what you say.  I could always see some strange light in his eyes.  Not a light of happiness, but one of cruelty and violence.  He was given an appropriate totem.  But we should not talk about Broud.  I want to know how you have been."

            "I have been well, Mama.  At the Clan Gathering this summer we brought back Ura, who I am to mate when the time comes.  She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.  We both have new ideas and our minds work the same way.  But Broud has not let me have my manhood hunt.  We cannot mate until we have both become adults.  Uba is well.  She had a daughter last winter.  Goov named her Iza after Uba's mother-and your mother."

            Ayla smiled at this news.  Durc was surprised at first, but then he remembered gamed he had played with her in secret where they made a happy noise together and made that face often.  "Mama, what is that called?  You and I were the only ones who used to do that-and we make the sound when we are happy.  Ura does too."

            "In Jondalar's language it is called smile and laugh," Ayla replied.

            Durc was curious.  He could not pronounce those words, and he did not know the Others had a language.

            "They have a language of sounds made by the mouth," Ayla continued, "just like the Clan has some spoken words, Others speak all words out loud.  But they can also make words that are not true sometimes and are so blind to body language that they fool each other."  She continued to tell him about the ways of the Others- her people.

They talked for most of the afternoon.  The sun was starting to set when Ayla reluctantly told Durc that he should head back to the cave.

            "I am going now, Mama," he said and then he left.  As he walked back to the cave, his mind was spinning.  So many new things that she told him could help the Clan!  As he approached the mouth of the cave, he saw Broud striding toward him with a face full of rage.

            "Durc, you insolent boy!  Where have you been all day?  You should have been at the cave.  You are not excused from helping the Clan," Broud fumed.  He was visibly shaking with rage.  "Answer me, boy!  Where have you been for the afternoon?"

            "I have been walking in the field by the practice area," he answered truthfully.  Broud slapped him on the face, leaving a mark in the shape of his hand.  The watching Clan was shocked.  A man never hit a boy for a reason like that, especially one so close to manhood.  Durc did not cry out, just simply stared.  Broud raised his fist again, intending to do some serious damage when he heard a strangely familiar voice.

            "BROUD!" A yellow-haired woman whom Broud thought he would never see again stepped out from behind some bushes.  Broud's eyes rolled skyward and he fainted.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Ayla had watched her son walk back to the cave and decided to follow. She saw the way Broud treated him and could not bear to watch in silence. The time she had spent living with the Others had helped her to overcome her childhood conditioning enough to step out and shout at Broud. She almost laughed when he fainted, but repressed the urge out of respect for the Clan. Silence fell over the Clan, and people who were outside stared openly. More crowded the opening of the cave to find out what the commotion was about as well. One woman ran forward. She had a face Ayla recognized instantly.

"Ayla? Aren't you dead, my sister?" Uba motioned hesitantly. Ayla shook her head. The sisters embraced warmly.

Goov made a sound to get the attention of the Clan. "This woman was dead for a time. I made the required arrangement of bones to enact the curse. But after some moons had passed, they were scattered. No animals have entered the sacred area. This action was willed by Ursus himself. The death curse is broken. She is free to be with us again if she chooses."

Suddenly Ayla realized what must have happened. For the first few moons of her exile she had been desolate and had not really tried to live, barely trying to survive. When she started to think for herself and overcome her Clan training in order to survive, she had begun to live again. The bones must have broken then. Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud moan from Broud

He sat up, gesturing wildly and making noises. It was impossible to tell what he was trying to communicate. His eyes were glazed and unfocused, and he seemed to take no notice of his present surroundings. Ayla watched him for a while, and then she turned to Uba.

"You should make him a tea that will put him to sleep. I think he has had a shock."

Uba nodded and started to make the tea. When it was ready, Ayla put it in a cup and approached Broud. She did not wait for his permission to speak. She touched his arm gently. "You must drink this now," she motioned and pushed the cup to his lips. At her touch, Broud's eyes focused on her. Broud jerked away, staring at her in horror. Then he started to scream, a primal yell that chilled Ayla to her core. With Uba's help, Ayla held his head in place and forced the liquid down. He only stopped screaming long enough to swallow. His cries eventually slowed, and finally stopped. The medicine would allow him to sleep for the afternoon. When his eyes closed, everybody relaxed. Brun called the attention of the Clan.

"As the former leader, I must assume responsibility while the current leader is incapacitated. In light of his behavior over the last few years and his behavior just now, something must be considered. The women may hear this, also. There is a way to take back the leadership of the Clan. Since Broud has done a poor job since the day he started, it is up to me to take the leadership back. The men must vote in a meeting. When the sun sets we will hold a meeting in the back cave. Until then, go about your usual business." He looked over at Ayla. "The younger children may not have met this woman. She is Ayla, a fine medicine woman of the Clan. Because her death curse is broken, she may stay with us again."

Ayla's heart leapt. She could be a part of the Clan again? Jondalar suddenly appeared in her thoughts. Would he be permitted to stay, and would he even want to stay, if only for a short time?

"This woman has a mate. We have not been joined by a ceremony, but he is my mate," she motioned, "He is of the Others, like me."

Brun nodded. "Is he traveling with you now? He may also stay with us for a time."

"He is in my special cave," she replied, "If it is permissible, this woman would go to speak with him before bringing him here. He can speak the Clan language, but he does not have much fluency yet, and his ways are much different from the Clan ways." Brun nodded his permission and Ayla ran to her cave.

"Where have you been, Ayla?" Jondalar demanded angrily. The exultant glow about her was contagious, and his anger seemed to melt away as he studied her face. He held her close and asked her what had happened.

"I went to the cave to make sure Broud didn't hurt Durc. When Broud started to hit him, I shouted his name and gave him a scare! We had to give him some medicine to put him to sleep because after he came to, he started to scream," she replied. "Brun told me that we could stay in their cave tonight if you would like."

"I am anxious to meet this Brun. I can't believe you went without me, Ayla. What if Broud had tried to hurt you?"

"But he didn't try, Jondalar. There is something wrong with him. He's sick in his mind, I think. After today, he won't ever be leader again and we don't have to worry about him."

"All right. Let's go meet this Clan of yours. We should probably leave the horses and Wolf."

Ayla nodded and they walked toward the cave, hand in hand.

A/N  
First of all, thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. Those reviews really mean a lot to me, and I always appreciate constructive criticism on ways to improve my writing skills. Second, just so you know, this story is actually completed on my computer and was actually my first fanfic ever. It is posted on ecfans.com, but I am re-editing it and constantly cringing at the way it was written before. I will probably cringe at this version a few months from now, for though the story is completely idealized in my head, I lack the ability to realize it "on paper." My plan, before college life got in the way, was to get it edited fairly quickly. That is obviously not happening, so please accept my sincere apologies for that. My freshman year gave me false hopes about the difficulty of college, so second year was quite a struggle. I will try to do better, but this summer is looking almost as chaotic as school.  
Once again, thank you for reading and for your comments!


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